The text today is commonly called the “Doubting Thomas” story. But this is not a story in which Jesus shames Thomas for not believing (rather, Jesus invites Thomas to touch his wound). Likewise, this is not a story to shame us into believing. It’s not a story about how things will be okay if only we believe. This is a story about Jesus coming to his disciples who experienced a great trauma (witnessing Jesus’ violent death and the apparent victory of evil) and who were so terrified that they’d locked themselves inside a room for over a week. In this midst of this deep fear, Jesus comes and offers peace (shalom – the wholeness and restoration our souls crave) and his resurrection presence.
Three words are repeated often in this story: wound, fear, peace. Jesus’ wound from his death is still a part of his resurrected body. His disciples are living in fear, sequestering themselves, stuck in the terror of what they just encountered a few days ago. But Jesus enters in; he offers peace. Jesus reveals his wound and invites Thomas to touch it.
It is clear from the text that the disciples experienced what we now call trauma. Trauma is an emotional response (and also a physical/somatic response) to a terrible event like an accident, crime, natural disaster, abuse, abandonment, violence, death, war, killing, displacement, and more. Remember, the disciples had just witnessed their beloved friend being brutally killed on the cross. Echoes of that day still flash in their minds: They hear the crowds. They see his suffering. The smell the blood. Even the sight of a soldier is terrifying.
Now they are locked in the Upper Room, which holds different memories – Jesus washing their feet, breaking bread, sharing a cup. How can things have changed so much so quickly? They think back to Gethsemane and remember falling asleep while Jesus prayed. Now they can’t sleep at all – too much guilt and shame, too many nightmares.
Trauma makes it impossible to think that the traumatic experiences are over. The posttraumatic identifies a way of living with awareness that experiences do not respect lines between past, present, and future, that histories of suffering persist in the present, operating powerfully below the surface of conscious life. We want to forget the trauma, but we are stuck in it. Perhaps we long for heaven when there will be no more tears or pain or suffering. Perhaps we hope, my life here is ruined, but the one to come must be better than this. We choose to persevere today, believing that things will get better after this life. We think, in heaven, there will be no more wounds.
But the resurrected body of Christ still has the wound.
Did God mess up? Was God too weak to remove the wound from Jesus? (Is he too weak to remove the wound from me?)
What’s fascinating about the resurrection of Jesus is that He is recognizable and not-recognizable at the same time. The wound was a proof of who He is, and what He went through. It’s a part of his story. It is not something to be erased, forgotten. It is something to be redeemed, resurrected.
Sometimes our bodies know that we cannot afford the pain of trauma, and out of a survival instinct, we forget. Sometimes, we long to forget. That’s what life does to us, we live a wounded life.
And sometimes, God helps us forget. God even willfully forgets things: our sins, our rebellions. Not because God is weak, but because he is love. But other times God chooses to help us to remember and carry over our past wounds because he is love. Instead of erasing the wounds, he helps us to redeem the wounds, to resurrect our wounds.
So while the disciples are hiding in fear, living with trauma, Jesus comes to them. This is the good news! This is the gospel! God comes to us! Jesus offers us peace.
Jesus shows the disciples his wounds, they see, and they are overjoyed because they recognize him. But the disciples do not yet understand. Eight days later they are still locked in the room, still in fear, still bound by trauma. Seeing Jesus’ wounds and knowing he was alive was not enough to heal them.
Jesus comes to them again. (He doesn’t give up on them!) He doesn’t leave them in fear and isolation. Again, Jesus offers peace to the disciples. Jesus invites Thomas to touch his wounds.
Touching the wound, attending to it, moving through it, is how Jesus redeems and resurrects the wound. This isn’t about forgetting; it’s about new life, about bringing life to the dead. Jesus’ wound demonstrates that God was still in control, even in Jesus’ death. When Thomas touches the wound, he will know that things are no longer like before… that the wound of the past has been turned into the wound that testifies what the Lord has done for us.
Touching the wound is painful, but it is the way to resurrection.
Jesus gave the disciples three directives that will help us to touch our wounds.
Go. Jesus sends them out of the Upper Room and into the world. He reminds them of their identity: his disciples, beloved children of the Father. He affirms their relationship with himself: it is like the Father and the Son (connected, in unison, image bearers). We’re to live life, for it is a gift from God, and He is sending us to live this day in His resurrection presence.
Receive. Jesus doesn’t send us alone, rather he fills us with his resurrection presence, the Holy Spirit. Jesus breathes on the disciples and we remember Genesis 2, when God breathed life into us the first time. Jesus is re-creating life. He is re-newing our present and future – in light of His resurrection presence.
Forgive. How do we reinterpret the past, escape from fear, touch the wound, resurrect the wound? Through the means of forgiveness. Jesus says your life still has its meaning, so go live it. Jesus promises that He will bring life back to you, so receive the breath of life. This Spirit empowers you to forgive. On your own, you don’t want to. But retaining the sins of others harms you; it suffocates you. The same Spirit of Jesus that cried, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” is the same Spirit now in you. The Spirit will move in you.
Forgiveness is the key to bringing heaven down to earth. It is the key to bringing the future into the present. It is the key to bringing resurrection living into your present life.
The resurrection doesn’t prevent pain, suffering, or trauma. The truth of the resurrection, conveyed through the scar, is that grief and joy, pain and pleasure, will always be present in life, often simultaneously. Interlaced with joy and pain, life can be marked as holy in this midst of this.
When His grace continues to tabernacle in our life, we continue to live in the resurrecting power of the Spirit, who raised Jesus from the dead. Jesus still has the wound on His resurrection body. But it is not the same as before, for the Spirit is resurrecting the wound. He helps us to resurrect the past, instead of erasing it, through forgiveness.
